Sleeping With One Person For The Rest Of Your Life Is Not Possible, That’s What She Said

Monogamy. The first time I heard you say it’s not a thing, I lost you right there. You were sitting on another table in the cafeteria and it was my first day in office. I’ve been itching to say this to you since the very day I heard you talking bullsh*t to other people in office just to come across as an alien species that will probably get you the attention you’ve been seeking all your life. No woman no. It doesn’t work like that. You are my senior and as you always look down upon people who don’t use fancy English words with a fake American accent, here’s a disclaimer.

My response to your weird a** thinking will be very plain and simple, something you’ll again crush under your feet. But I like to use a language and words, that, you know, people understand, because I’m not so self-absorbed you see. However, I humbly understand your problem; humans, in general, don’t deserve respect from you. But, you’re a feminist. Right? Let me show you the real picture my friend, you say this loudly to everyone, “I can never be a one-man woman,” does not make you a strong-headed feminist, it only makes you a shallow b****. Honey, you have an issue. It’s called ‘commitment phobia’, which I’d rather call S***ism. Don’t get me wrong but it’s extremely disappointing to see women like you in our society because of who we get s***-shamed.

You call yourself a feminist. Do you even know the meaning of it?

Feminism stands for women’s rights, equality of sexes — things that are basically morally correct. And you call yourself righteous. No, you stand for ‘infidelity’ girl. You say monogamy is ‘unnatural’. That sleeping with one person for the better part of your life is not possible. This is what you believe in. And no, you don’t say it in a joking way; you say it’s scientifically proven. This is exactly why you’re single and far from finding your Prince Charming at the age of thirty. This is the reason for your unsettled frustrated life.

Fundamentally, you want to force your desperation on people while they sit and stare at you thinking, “Wow! She’s so open about her nymphomania, she’s so brave.” Let me tell you, you do leave a mark. You certainly have. I’ve heard at least twenty people talk about you and your profound ideologies in and around the office. You should be proud. Mission accomplished. But I’m still confused, do you really believe that the term Monogamy does not exist? In today’s world at least, there’s always an option of living in isolation for the rest of your life.

If it’s really just about physically satisfying yourself with different people every now and then, then why commit? Why strangle someone in your vicious world of absurdity? I know you’re assuming that monogamy is even more difficult for a man, that’s where your hypocrite nature as a feminist comes out. Right there. You believe in gender equality but you also believe in gender shaming. That’s the kind of person you are. So you assume that if you have an abnormal mind that believes in an ‘open marriage’ or an ‘open relationship’, your husband or boyfriend because he’s a man, must feel like the luckiest man in the world. I am dating a man, not married yet. He will still give an arm and a leg to keep this relationship together. You know why? Because he has the heart to. He loves a woman who is faithful to him.

We both give each other comfort. It’s beautiful to think about growing old together, hand in hand, supporting each other with wrinkles on our faces when either of us stumbles.

However, there may be some truth in what you say. You say Monogamy is stupid and unrealistic. You, in fact, went to the extent of declaring it ‘impossible’. You’re right, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea to love, to commit, to sacrifice. This circumstance in life needs will-power that you want to escape by simply claiming that you don’t believe in it. Whoever told you life is easy was terribly wrong my love. It’s not and that’s what makes it worth living. I don’t see any fun in living a life that’s all rainbows and sunshine. On the other hand, you argue with your smart phrases and non-existent buzzwords, just because you want it easy. Falling in love with someone will be a seamless ocean without water if monogamy didn’t exist.

Marrying one person and waking up in another man’s t-shirt every other morning is as good as owning a Rolls Royce but crying for a BMW your neighbor just bought. I can’t imagine why you’d do that. Marriage is an institution you must never enter, for if you do, you will spread the disease you’ve been carrying for so long. It’s contagious indeed. If you don’t have it in you to commit, to belong to one person at a time, stay lonely for life because that’s your problem. Don’t teach people around you to be unfaithful and disloyal in life. Normal people, like myself, like waking up next to a familiar face every morning without an inch of guilt and with a sea of timeless love in the eyes thinking this is exactly what I bargained for in life. With that feeling in your heart, how would you ever want to let any other male around touch you in an inappropriate way? Sorry for breaking it to you but you need a Psychologist for sucking away the manizer in you. You being a coward in holding on to relationships does not make monogamy extinct.

Marriage and commitment will always be the most normal and more than natural phenomena in life. This fact will never change, apologies for waking you up from your sleep. But thank you for hearing me out dear Superior!